Who knew what being a parent would make you do...

For instance...just today, I did something I never in my entire life would think myself capable of doing.

I sniffed another human being's butt.

Desi has been gassy. He was crying. I though maybe we had poopie, but he was wearing a onesie and shorts. This could potentially be a lot of work in undressing him only to find a clean diaper.

My first reaction was obvious. I would just ask him. "Des...did you poop your pants?"

His response was to frown and then scream. I think he found my question offensive.

Since he wasn't giving me a straight answer, I called Quincy over. Quincy immediatly sniffed Desmond and gave me a look of, "That smells good...can I eat it?" Of course, this is the look Quincy gives just about anything. So...it still wasn't clear.

This left me with only one thing to do...ask Shaundar to sniff Desi's butt.

Shaundar yelled at me something about going through labor and referenced a guy named Jack Cass. So, it was apparently up to me.

I proceeded to lift Desmond above my olfactory sensory device and quickly inhaled.

No poop.

What an exercise in futility. Oh well...it's like Shaundar said about giving birth naturally..."At least I know I can do it, now."

Laundry

Is is just me, or do babies go through 16 times more laundry than adults? I mean...I already mentioned that I have to change my shirt about 3 times a day due to spit up.

Well...besides me, Desi spits up on himself, on his swaddle, on his sheets, on his bib, on his changing table, on his outfit, on his outfit again because I just changed it because he spit up on the last one, and on anything else that gets in the way.

Throw into this the pee cannon that will unleash its fury on anything that stands in its way. Then, the occasional poop that leaks out of the diaper and onto whatever is in the danger zone.

Anyway...Shaundar does her laundry weekly. I do mine whenever I find that I've been wearing the same underwear for more than 3 days. But...Desmond's is done every...single...day.

Everyday, we go through all of our large burp rags. Every day, we go through all of our small burp rags. Every day we go through a number of washcloths. Every day, we have to change the sheets in his bassinet. This kid dirties more things than a pigeon on laxatives.

Smile time

I think, over Christmas evening, Desi learned how to officially smile. Before, he was occasionally smiling. We could never tell if it was gas or pooping or an actual, "Hey, I kinda like these people." But, yesterday, we became sure.

We got him to smile over and over again. Not doing anything really exciting, but he still liked what we were doing. You know...a "boogabooga" here and a "narf narf narf" there. He got a kick out of those.

Shaundar even got a giggle out of him. It's pretty cute and it takes this whole "parenting" thing to a whole new level. Now...when he's shrieking, I know that later, he'll make up for the headache he's giving me by giving me a little smile and a laugh. HeeHee.

Merry Christmas!

Desi's first word!

Desmond said his first word, today! No kidding!

We were in bed this morning. He had just been fed, burped and changed. We were all sitting there laughing and smiling and having a grand ol' time. Then...all of a sudden, Desi said, "Oi!"

That's right! Oi! As in Oi Vey. Clear as a bell.

Looks like we have a future rabbi in the family. I wonder if this will impact his baptism?

Video - nothing special

Desi meets Santa...well, kind of.

After Gonzaga's very disappointing loss to #2 UConn, today...Shaundar, Michelle and Desi met me down at Pike's Place Brewery where I could drown my sorrows.

At the brewery, there was some kind of Santa party going on. Everyone was dressed up like Santa. There were regular Santas, "sexy" Santas, drag queen Santas, and even a pirate Santa. I couldn't let the moment go back without asking Santa if Desi could have his picture taken with him (them).

I like toast

Like, I really like toast. When I was a kid, I used to take the toaster out of the kitchen and bring it to my spot on the floor in front of the TV. I would just make lots and lots of toast while I sat there watching cartoons.

Today, as I made toast, I realized how much I enjoyed it. Toast is great. You can put so many different things on it. Butter, Peanut Butter, any kind of jam, like strawberry, blackberry, marmalade. You can put brown sugar on it. Or, cream cheese. There are so many options.

Anyway...that's all. Toast is yummy.

Snow'd in

It's snowing in Seattle. It snowed a little on Sunday. It snowed A LOT today. Pretty much everyone at MS stayed home making it almost impossible to remotely access the corporate network as everyone was trying to remotely access it at the same time.


High Point got hit a lot. We can't really go anywhere because the roads are iced over. Quincy had a good time frolicking in the snow, today. If I trusted him, more, I would have let him run around off leash...but, I don't, so I didn't.


Des didn't go out in the snow. We don't really have proper snow clothes for him. If it warms a little, tomorrow, we'll try to take him out.


Here are the pics of Quincy.

Clearly, I need to figure out the sound before we can do anything substantial...but, here is your first look at Desmond LIVE!

I'm gonna quit my job to be a stay at home dad

Not really...but, this video makes it tempting.

New Photos by Meghan

My friend and HR Mentor, Meghan, snapped some pics of Desi. Here are some choice ones, below!

Big Thanks to Meghan and her husband Mark. Check them out at http://ourfishfamily.com, in the links to the left.

Blogging with baby

Took some pictures...thought you may be interested

Desmond's first bath...obviously, Des could think of other things he would rather be doing:








Hanging with (a gnarly looking) Daddy and Quincy on the couch:





Chillin' with the Pants:

Desmond sucks...literally, I mean

Whoever invented the pacifier must be some magical wizard. Any parent probably knows this.

Desi has been comfort sucking at the breast an awful lot, lately. We chatted with the doctor about the fact that he seems to be spitting up an awful lot. The Doc said that he has put on plenty of poundage, so the spitting up is probably his bodies was of saying, "Knock it off, you glutton."

We tried to avoid using the pacifier early on. We read that it could hamper breast feeding. But, now, they seem to be doing the breast feeding thing pretty well, so we've been using it.

It's amazing. We're just chilling, he's wide awake, we're playing a fun game of "Who crapped his pants," when all of a sudden, "WAAAAAAAAA!" No reason...he wasn't the one who crapped his pants. He ate not that long ago, so he can't be hungry.

Oh, wait...he wants to suck something. I could give him the finger...I mean, a finger, but I am busy playing video games. So, I plop in the pacifier. Silence...except for the sucking sound. Silence, that is, until he spits it out. Then...even louder crying because he wants it back. So, I give it to him...am I enabling his addiction? I don't know. Ask me again in a year.

There are a lot of different names for the pacifier. Four syllables is an awful lot to use for an infant, so it makes sense that people shorten it. I've heard binky and paci, most commonly.

I've chosen to go with "Sucky thing." It seems to make the most sense. I mean, where does binky come from? It sounds like a ghost on Pac-Man. And, Paci? That just sounds like baby talk, which I am trying really really hard not to use. I'm not a fan of shortening words by ending them early with an I sound...Desi excluded, of course.

Sleepies

I think the lack of sleep is finally really starting to hit us.

I mean, we've been sleepy since Desmond came home. But, last night, we were so beat that we went to bed at 6:30.

Did you hear that? 6:30.

Guess what time we got up the next day. 7:00.

Of course, thrown in were about 5 late night feedings and changings, but still.

I think Shaundar is handling it better than I am, which is totally lame because she's up longer than I am. Basically...after he eats, I change his diaper. Oooooooooh. She's the one that has to feed him. And, even though I have told her to wake me for burping, she lets me sleep. Which is really nice of her, but still makes he pretty lame.

How many shirts can I go through in one day?

So far...the record is 4. Between the spit up and the pee cannon, I find that I am frequently changing clothing. Yes, I have a spit rag. Doesn't matter. He finds his way around it. Shortly after, I feel the warm sensation of used breast milk soaking my back.

Photos courtesy of Uncle Brian

Photos are courtesy of Desi's Great-Uncle Brian! A HUGE thanks to Uncle Brian and Aunt Lise!

Super diaper skills

So, I mentioned that my friend and HR mentor Meghan came over to bring us dinner and snap some pics of Starbuck, right? Well...I have to dish a little bit about her diaper changing skills.

Now...keep in mind: I am a new parent. Until Desi, it's been about 10 years or more since I have actually changed a diaper (I changed Alina's while she was here with Tiffany, but nobody actually checked my work on that...I half think Tiff changed it again 10 seconds after the girls got home). I am still trying to perfect the art of the diaper change.

Meghan...she's like a diaper chaging Ninja. Tilly needed a change. Meghan busts out the diaper bag. I say, naively, "You are more than welcome to use Desi's changing table, if you want."

"No need," or something, replies Meghan.

Then, in a movement so fast it blows out the candles on the coffee table, Meghan busts out the diaper and whips it under Tilly. The old diaper isn't even off, yet. What a Great idea! New diaper under old diaper. This keeps any poop off the furniture.

BAM - whipies are out and *SWOOSH, SWOOSH* Tilly is cleaned up.

Then, *WHIP, SNAP, SLAM* done. New diaper on and taped, old diaper bundled and put away. Actually...I didn't even see her put it away. Damn...it's like the diaper changing Flash!

Anyway...these are the things that impress a new parent. I tried the new-diaper-under-the-old-diaper trick today. I'm not as good at it. First, Desi put his foot in the poop on the old diaper. So, I just took it off. Then, his poopy butt soiled the new diaper, so I had to get a new one. Then...as usual, he peed everywhere.

Long way to go before I hit Ninja status.

We've got awesome friends and family.

One thing I have learned over the last couple of weeks...we are really crappy friends.

Lots of our friends have had babies. What have we done? We've said, "Awwww...congrats!" We suck.

So far...we have received dinner from 3 different people, my friend and HR mentor, Meghan (see OurFishFamily in the links section) came over and took some pictures after bringing us dinner, and my folks came up for about 2 weeks to help out. Brian and Lise had us over for Thanksgiving and Brian is coming over today for some photos. Andy and Keely next door have cooked us dinner once and are doing so again, tonight. Andy is making lamb. Everyone says Andy makes the best lamb. I'll let you know if that's true tomorrow. ;-)

That's not all...Janice and Juan two doors down have passed on a ton of cool baby items for us. And, Janice's mom, Lynn, knitted Desi a hat, blanket and booties.

So...for all of our friends that have had kids so far: I'm sorry we suck. We now know what friends should do for friends who are having children. For our friends who haven't had, yet, but will have children...we're ready to step up. Lucky.

How much can one person pee?

Seriously...I think of my worst day. Coffee in the morning, followed by tea, a half gallon of water, a pop or two, and a milkshake. I think of how much I can produce in that day...and, I believe Desmond can outpee me.

He eats, he pees. We change his wet diaper and he pees during changing. And, I don't mean *squirt, squirt*. I'm talking *peeeeeeeeeeeeeee....more peeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...pee..pee...peeeeeeeeeeee...pee*.

We have to replace the cover on the changing table regularly. I have started covering the cover with a towel. If I am lucky and manage to block off the rush of water before it gets to the towel, I can usually get away with switching out the towel only.

Come to think of it...he came out peeing. The doctor's direct quote was, "Here he is! And, he's peeing on me." That's not a joke. I looked over, and, sure enough...peeing. Crying and peeing. Now...almost every time I check, wet diaper. About 12 of them a day. If I wore diapers (and I don't) I would only dirty about 6 a day...maybe. Depending on how long I waited between bathroom breaks.

I wonder if there is a record for most amount of pee created by a baby in one day. I bet Des would win. I gotta find that entry form.