Well, shut me up.

So, all of my plans for being a good partner have been thrown out the window.

In a previous post, I mentioned that I didn't know why more men didn't help feed the baby dispite the fact that Mom was breastfeeding. My thoughts were, just pump some into the bottle, Dad feeds through the night every other night and Mom can sleep making the amount of lost sleep equal between the parents.

My cousin, Laura, then pointed out to me that, even if she's not feeding the baby, she will still need to pump.

Okay...so she rolls out of be for 30 minutes every night to pump so she is more comfortable.

Wrong!

I knew infants fed every 1 and a half to 3 hours. What I didn't realize until just last night, during Breastfeeding 101, was that Mom's body is on the same clock as baby's. Mom will also need to pump every 1 and a half to 3 hours if she wants to keep her knockers in proper breastfeeding form.

That's just stupid. Remind me to have a conversation with whoever came up with this plan.

Was that thunder I just heard?

Baby Picture of the Day

Poor kid. Not only does being dragged to a political event when when you would much rather be biting the dog suck...But, it's a Hillary event. Gack! The child will be permanently scared. She'll probably want to move to Canada, or something.

Breast class

So...we're going to a class about breasts, today. I plan to bring my camera. As a fan of boobs (I wonder if I can add that to my Facebook page? "Jason has become a fan of boobs."), I'm really looking forward to this class.



Oh...wait, what?

Sorry...breastFEEDING class.

I've known lots of people with babies. As I have mentioned in a previous posting, some have breastfed for years, some, not at all.

We're planning to breastfeed. Well...Shaundar is. I'm planning to sit and stare.

At least, we're hoping to breastfeed. Talking to some peeps, I guess it's not as easy as one would naturally think. Hopefully, the class will help straighten things out.

Questions I have going in:
- What if the baby doesn't like it?
- What if it's too hard on Mom?
- How do you properly punch a person who complains that Mom is breastfeeding in public while properly covered?
and, most importantly,
- When do I get them back?

To close this post...I leave you with a picture of a couple boobs:



Oops...got political, again. Sorry.

Video of the Day

Communist Cabbage

Not to be mistaken for good ol' plain 'Merkin cabbage (which will come in 2 weeks), Desmond is the size of Chinese Cabbage.



Last week was cauliflower. I've always thought cauliflower looks like white brains. No wonder kids don't eat it.

Hey Baby Video of the day

By the way...Gwen Stefani recently gave birth to her second son and named him Zuma?

This can also be characterised under "when I'm a dad, I promise not to." I promise not to name my kid after an Aztec.

Or a video game.

Maisie pics

While I was in California, I got to hang out with my Goddaughter, Maisie, and her folks, Andy and Joey.

Andy, Joey, and I were friends in college. Andy and I used to lift weights together, can't you tell.

Anyway...here are some pics of Maisie and family enjoying Disneyland.

Calling the cops cuz some weird guy keeps taking her picture:


I don't remember what caused this reaction, but it's funny:


Close-up:


She really liked this machine, apparently:


This was taken on the Finding Nemo ride, which older folks like me remember as the submarine ride:


With Andy:


With Joey:


The family:


On the way in:


A horse giving me a dirty look:


A few last photos...Maisie was obsessed with circles on the ground. She would literally stop and stand with both feet on every single one.

Video of the Day

So...I was going to put a video up of a placenta delivery, but YouTube says that's for people 18 years of age and older. So, instead, I'm putting up this video of the 1958 classic, "The Placenta!"

Why don't people talk more about the placenta?

Quick and easy answer: Because the guys would make sure they weren't in the room at the time of birth.

So, I know what the placenta is. I know what it does. I learned all of those things in biology and in baby research reading. I even knew it had to come out. I mean, the third stage of child birth, according to our baby class, is "Delivery of the Placenta." I guess I just never actually stopped to think too much more about it.

Then...one day, I was watching a video clip on BabyCenter.com. This thing looks like it's about the same size as the baby. Only, much more disgusting. I guess I expected the placenta to look like a honey bee hive from Winnie the Pooh, or something.

Now...before all you fembots start yelling at me, I think the female body is a beautiful thing. I think pregnancy is beautiful and I respect woman for being the ones God chose to give this "honor" to.

But, the placenta is disgusting. I mean...look at it:



Okay, okay...so that's not really a placenta. I couldn't post an actual picture. But, if you want to see what one looks like (assuming you've never seen one), you can see it here.

In our baby class text book, they talk about all the stages of labor and they have a section on what Dad should be doing during each stage. Things like, loading the car during the first stage, soothing Mom during the second stage.

During the third stage, delivery of the placenta, there is only one suggestion for what Dad should be doing. "Take some time to meet your baby."

See...even the child-birth experts are like, NOOOOOO...LOOK AWAY. DON'T LOOK AT THE BLOODY SLIMY BABY-SIZED SACK THAT JUST CAME OUT OF YOUR WIFE!

When Starbuck is born, I plan to be securly in my place, meeting my baby.

Off next week

I am traveling for work all of next week. I will be online, but doubt I'll have any good baby stuff to talk about since I will be away from Shaundar for most of the week. Although, I will get to hang out with Maisie and her parents (Joey and Andy) at Disneyland! I'll take some pictures.

I'll post a blog when we get back detailing all the loot we score from the baby shower the family is throwing for us back in LHC.

Breastfeeding...at 8.

Ummmmm...yeah. Don't really know what to add, here.

Starbuck...a reminder

So...peeps around here that have been following my blog, lately, frequently ask where Starbuck comes from.

The answer is here.

Here are some video portrayals of my favorite namesakes:








Although little Desmond now has an official name, I have a feeling Starbuck is going to hand around as a nickname. It seems to be hanging on more than I expected.

Had a bit of a scare, today.

So...Shaundar has been crampy of late (that's Crampy, not Crabby. She's been crabby for years). We upped the baby doctor appointment, originally scheduled for next week, to today. We get in, the doctor feels up my wife in a way I haven't been able to for about 6 months, and says, "you're dilated."

WTF?

It wasn't much, the doctor didn't seem too freaked (we were). She sent us in for an ultrasound.

Ultrasound looked good. Apparently it's more about the length of the uterus than the dilation, or something. The doctor is supposed to call us later today to let us know what we need to do, if anything.

From today's ultrasound, here are some Starbuck stats:

-He weighs about 1 lb, 14 oz
-His head circumference is 242 mm
-He's been cooking for approximately 25 weeks and 3 days
-He knows exactly where Shaundar's bladder is and loves to kick it.

We finally got a couple fairly good pictures, too. They're below. It looks like he's got Shaundar's mouth. See the little overbite? Awwww.

And, he definitely has my belly. Abdominal circumference: 206mm.

Video of the Day

Probably a great vision into what the delivery room will look like when Desmond is born.

Unless we do a home birth...in which case, put Joan Cusack in a night shirt instead of a hospital gown. Everything else is the same.

(Warning...rated PG-13 or so)

Baby Registry

Wow...people are already buying us stuff on our registry.

If you are interested in our registry, we're at Babies R' Us and Amazon.

I am going to LA for work, next week. On Thursday, Shaundar is flying down to meet me. Friday morning, we are driving over to LHC where my mother is throwing Shaundar a baby shower. While it's always good to see the family...AZ in August is never the best time to visit. But, whatever...free presents.

Swearing

Do I have to stop, now? I mean...I have a pretty bad potty mouth. No, really. And, Shaundar's is worse.

I'm working lately on trying not to swear at home. I'll still swear at work, or in traffic, or in adult environments, like the bar or the strip club. But, I am attempting to drastically cut swearing when I am in the house.

I figure, Desmond isn't going to be joining me at work or at the bar, anytime soon. So, if I can condition myself to release all my verbal diarrhea at those places, hopefully, all will be good.

It's a challenge, I tell you. It's like trying to stop saying the word "the." Can you imagine not saying the word "the?" Neither can I!

When I'm a dad, I promise not to...

Again...leave my kid at the airport.

I mean, come on...seriously?

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26006350/

JERUSALEM - An Israeli couple going on a European vacation remembered to take their duty-free purchases and their 18 suitcases, but forgot their 3-year-old daughter at the airport, police said Monday.

The couple and their five children were late for a charter flight to Paris Sunday and made a mad dash to the gate. In the confusion, their daughter got lost.

Police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld said a policeman found her wandering in the duty-free area at Ben-Gurion airport, Israel's bustling main international air portal. He said the officer alerted airline staff, but the flight had already taken off.

The incident happened on what Israeli media said was one of the busiest days of the year at the Israeli airport, with thousands of people leaving for summer vacations abroad. The Haaretz newspaper reported that 2.6 million passengers are expected to pass through the airport in July and August, an increase of 12 percent compared to the same period last year.

Israeli media said the parents of the forgotten girl were an ultra-Orthodox Jewish couple but did not give their names.

Rosenfeld said the parents were unaware they had boarded the aircraft with only four children instead of five until they were informed by cabin staff after 40 minutes in the air.

The child, accompanied by an airline staffer, took the next flight to Paris, where she was safely reunited with her parents.

Running the story on its front page Monday, the Yediot Ahronot daily quoted an unnamed police officer as saying, "A very cute little girl grabbed my leg and asked 'where are my parents, where are my brothers?'"

A female police officer identified only by her last name, Ben-Eden, checked records for the girl's family. "I saw her parents and brothers were on a plane that was set to take off in three minutes," she told the paper.

Ben Eden picked up the girl and rushed to the gate for the flight to Paris. "I ran quickly because I knew that every minute mattered. At the same time, the police tried to contact the flight attendants to get them to stop the plane. When I reached the gate, the plane was no longer there."

Rosenfeld said police would question the couple when they return from vacation, on suspicion of parental negligence.

Haaretz quoted the girl's grandmother, who took the family to the airport, as saying, "We're in shock. They're very responsible and organized, top-notch people. Apparently one relied on the other, and this is what happened."

The paper recounted that several days ago, an 8-year-old boy traveling alone boarded a flight to Brussels instead of Munich, and two weeks before that, a 10-year-old boy was left behind when the rest of his group flew to Copenhagen.

Israeli media often play up stories about mistreated children. Recent prominent reports have concerned toddlers left in locked cars or buses on hot days or abused by caretakers. On Monday, Channel 2 TV devoted a segment of its early evening newscast to an infant who was severely burned when a pot of boiling soup fell on him at his home.

That's so RUDE...abaga.

Or, Rutagaba...as in, this is what Starbuck is the size of.

Much like the turnip, I have no clue what a Rutabega is. But, that's what Shaundar has in her guts, right now.



The talk in my house, right now, is around natural child birth and home births.

The hippies in Shaundar's yoga class insipred her to watch a movie called, "The Business of Being Born." The big message was that Hospitals are bad, home births are good.

Anyway, she's been doing some research and we're going to investige this option further.

Me...I really have no opinion. I'm not the one having the baby. If I were, I would say, Knock me out and wake me up when it's over. But, Shaundar is more of a man, than I am...so, if she wants to tough it out, I'm there!

And...maybe I can play Xbox between contractions.

Crap...

I just realized that I will be making a major sacrifice early on in Starbuck's, life.

The 6th Harry Potter movie, Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, comes out on November 21! I'm not going to take a baby to the movie theatre, and Desi won't be ready to stay home by himself, yet.

Maybe Shaundar and I can take turns going.

Pictures

Here are some nursery pics, as I promised. Keep in mind, as you look at these...the nursery is not done. Neither the crib nor the armourer are in the right place. They'll be moved around when we have all the furniture and when the vines are painted with their second coat.

The fabric hanging over the crib are curtains.