Frakin' Funny Blog

Shaundar found this blog when we were trying to figure out what "Tin Roof, Rusted" meant, from the classic B-52's song "Love Shack."

It's pretty sweet.

http://rustedtinroof.blogspot.com/

When did I get so freakin' sentimental?

Saw this vid on Facebook. It got me all vaclempt in my office.

It's not Arwen

It is true that our girl name is on the geeky names list below. It sounds like my mother and my cousin have concluded that we're going with Arwen, of Lord of the Rings Fame.

Wrong answer. I should remind you that I was never a big Rings fan. I found the books to be pretty dull. I admit, I am one of the few nerds who feels this way.

I am a Trekkie.

The name is Polish. It's an alternate form of the name of a 14th Century Polish Queen and Saint.

That's all you get. We'll spill the beans after we find out what we're having. I don't want any excitement or criticism until then. So I'm not telling, yet.

Baby picture of the Day

When I'm a dad, I promise not to...

Try to sell my child on Craigslist.

http://www.nationalpost.com/news/canada/story.html?id=544227


Vancouver couple arrested for putting baby up for online sale
Just a hoax, says couple
Neal Hall, Canwest News Service Published: Tuesday, May 27, 2008

VANCOUVER -- A Vancouver couple have been arrested but will not be charged after posting an Internet ad on Craigslist, offering their seven-day-old baby for $10,000, police said Tuesday.
Vancouver police Const. Tim Fanning said he had never heard of such a thing in his 27 years as a police officer.

Ten police officers worked on the case, he said, tracking the Craigslist posting to a west-end apartment.

"Police knocked at the door and asked if there was a baby in the apartment," Const. Fanning told reporters at a news conference.

He said the 23-year-old mother was found nursing a seven-day-old baby.

Among the four adults in the apartment was the baby's father, also in his 20s.

The couple were initially arrested for questioning about the ad.

"They said it was just a hoax," Const. Fanning explained.

The father, who placed the ad using a computer found in the apartment, was taken to jail.

Police sent a report to Crown recommending a charge of public mischief, but the Crown didn't feel there was enough evidence to support the charge, he added.

The baby was taken from the couple by a social worker and placed in care, Const. Fanning said.

Last week, authorities in Germany said they were investigating a couple after they offered their eight-month-old son for sale on the Internet auction website EBay.

A number of people had contacted police when they say the posting online offering a baby for a sale because it cried too much. The opening bid was 1 euro ($1.57).

There were no bidders in the auction in the two hours it was posted online. The 23-year-old

German woman told police that it was a joke.

Craigslist is an online classified advertising service.

Vancouver Sun, with files from Reuters

The name game...for real

We've been talking names since practically the day after we found out we were having a kid. We're about settled on names, at this point.

For girls, we're set on the first name. We're still discussing a middle name.

For boys, we're about there. We've got a couple choices, but one seems to be the favorite. Middle name is still way up in the air for boys.

Picking a name is kinda fun. We had a few rules that go into our name picking:

It has to be unique, but not unheard of or made up. The "Unique" name has been very popular lately, which means that most names that used to be unique, aren't any longer. For instance...Gabriel used to be one of our favorites for boys, and a couple years ago, you didn't hear it very often. However...the Social Security Administration lists it as #28 most popular name for 2007 in the US.

Next: I am not a fan of the androgynous name. I don't want to name my kid Cody or Jamie or anything that can be for a boy or a girl. I just don't really like that.

Third: No namesakes. At least not in the first name. We have too many family members that are important to us. I think we'll consider it for middle names, but probably not even then.

No names that would give the kid weird initials. There aren't a heck of a lot of weird combos that end in P...but, I would hate having SAP or something.

Nothing Hippie. Not Star or Summer or Apple or Willow or River or Marijuana.

So...now that you know the rules, the names we've decided on are......

Secret. We'll tell you later. :-)

When I'm a dad, I promise not to...

See below.

Baby Picture of the Day

28 Really Geeky Baby Names

FYI...I am stealing this verbatim (via the high tech copy/paste option) from some dude named Darren Barefoot: http://www.darrenbarefoot.com/archives/2007/03/29-really-geeky-baby-names.html

Funniest part (or geekiest part)...our girl name is on this list!

Plagiarizing, now:

1) Strider - It could have been worse, he could’ve been named Pippin.

2) Arwen - Again, it could have been Eowyn. Plus, it’s quite a pretty name.

3) Lestat - “I can’t understand why junior keeps wearing all that white makeup…”

4) Neo - You might as well name the kid “Jesus”.

5) Keanu - See above.

6) Nikita - Apparently from the Elton John song, not from La Femme Nikita, but we can hope.

7) Nero - “Son, you’re named for a a Roman Emperor. No pressure.”

8) Maximus - See above.

9) Cosmo Ranger - I got nothing.

10) Eaton - Last name Seamen. Not so much geeky as just plain cruel.

11) Cleopatra Evita - Presumably she’s the daughter of drag queens.

12) Corran - Apparently a character in the Star Wars books.

13) Mara Jade - Another similarly non-movie Star Wars character.

14) Anakin - Bound to be a mouth breather.

15) Luke - Climbed the charts from 228th in the seventies to 42nd today.

16) Ada - Destined to work in a cubicle among smelly coding boys.

17) Wesley - Fairly common, but geeky when inspired by Star Trek.

18) Jadzia - Apparently in 1998, there were 27 baby girls named after Deep Space Nine’s Dax.

19) Ryker - In that same year, 80 baby boys were making Number One in their diapers.

20) B’elanna - Well, at least the apostrophe will simplify things.

21) Kirk - Apparently Kirk Cameron was named after the Shatnerian one.

22) Moon Unit - Thank you, Papa Zappa.

23) Amadeus - Retro geeky.

24) Mars - I know, it’s also a Greek god. But it gets dodgy when his sister is named Venus. And what if you named a kid Pluto and he got downgraded to a mere dwarf planet?

25) Ripley - Likes her machine gun with a flamethrower chaser.

26) Dade - This one’s pretty obscure (but apparently legit). I mean, how many people saw Hackers?

27) Damien - You know, like the Prince of Darkness? Rose in popularity thanks to The Omen.

28) Version 2.0 - Obvious, and apparently true.

When I'm a dad, I promise not to...

...Let my kid see Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

Terrible Terrible movie. They took one of my favorite characters of all time and went all Anakin Skywalker on him.

I know this isn't necessarily baby related, but I hated the movie so much, I just had to put it here.

Baby Picture of the Day

Boy or Girl

So, yesterday, we talked about whether or not one should find out the sex of their baby before the birth. Today...we're discussing whether or not a boy or a girl would be better.

Me? I'm indifferent. As long as the kid has 2 arms, 2 legs and can fly...I'll be happy.

Shaundar wants a girl...a lot. I am gently trying to prepare her for the fact that it may not be a girl. I think we'll be okay as we are finally starting to settle on potential boy names as well as girl names.

But, what's better? Having a boy or having a girl?

Kids are cute when they're kids no matter what. Although, with a boy, you do have to worry about that crazy ray gun that may occasionally fire during changings. Regardless...when I think of this question, I don't typically think of babies.

I think of teenagers.

I should start this explanation with a disclaimer. I hate teenagers. I think a great way to assist in population control is to get rid of all the teenagers. Anyone between 13 and 17 and a half, put them on a shuttle and send them to Mars. I'll even settle for a deserted island in the middle of the Arctic.

Boy teenagers are going to be sleeping around, getting in fights, joining gangs, being all macho and picking on the band geeks (something I am totally unfamiliar with), and holing up in their room playing violent video games and plotting vandalism of the school library.

Girl teenagers are going to be bringing those boys home, wearing skimpy clothing, shouting phrases like, "I Hate you!" and "You ruined my life!", getting pregnant, and spending all my money on makeup.

Time to start saving up for boarding school.

Finding out the Sex?

Just so there is no suspense, here...we will be finding out the sex of little Starbuck. In fact...we'll be finding out in about 4 more weeks.

There are 2 questions that are asked by almost everyone once they find out we're pregnant. They always say Congrats. Then they ask, "How far along are you?" and "Are you going to find out the sex of the baby?"

(Actually...they usually ask, "Are you going to find out what your having?" to which the reply is, "Weren't you listening? We're having a baby.")

Anyway...we knew right away that we would want to know. I mean, how else can you plan how to decorate the room, what kind of clothes to buy, whether we need to stock up on Barbies or guns.

Now, this is where all my Seattle friends say, "You should let your child guide his own sexual identity. You shouldn't encourage total boy or girl behaviours." To which I will respond, "Stuff it, Hippie."

A couple family members have given us grief saying that this is the big surprise of having a kid. I hate to break it to everyone...but the big surprise was the pee stick with the plus sign.

So...what are your thoughts, here. If you've had a kid, did you find out before hand? Why or why not? Were you satisfied that you did what you did?

To me...this gives us a chance to start bonding early. At least from our end...maybe it's even a bit more for me to bond as I don't get the "privilege" of having this little mooch growing inside me. I figure, once we know, Starbuck becomes He or She instead of The Baby or It. We can attach the name and start using it when talking to baby.

The only benefit to waiting is...ummmm....is....uhhhh, well...I guess it builds character.

Sympathy weight

Got on the scale this morning. Apparently, since Shaundar got pregnant, I have gained....negative 10 pounds.

That's right, suckas...I've actually lost weight. I read that many guys gain "sympathy weight." Not me. I took it right off.

Of course...this could have something to do with being sick for an extended period of time and not really having an appetite. But, whatever.

I think this calls for a beer.

Baby Picture of the Day

Pucker up...

Cuz Starbuck is now the size of a lemon.





I guess you're not really supposed to be able to feel the baby move, yet (although, what do I know? I'm a guy)...but, Shaundar says she's been feeling rumblies in her tumblies.


She's been playing music for young Starbuck at night. It's actually a rather inventive setup where she puts the big "Sound proof" headphones over her belly and the little earbud headphones in her ears so they are both listening to the same thing.


(She just pointed out to be that P**** Control by Prince just started playing...that one was skipped. Baby ain't ready for that, just yet...although Daddy does like that song).


Anyway...this little routine has me frightened that the only thing that will calm post-birth Starbuck in the wee hours of the morning will be continuous Tori Amos. Talk about Hell on Earth for me.

I got my wife sick...

...and, she's been reminding me of this all week.

Looks like she's got the same crap I did (and, actually still have a little bit of).

I am pretty sympathetic. I mean, I felt awful during the worst of this illness. But, I was allowed to take NyQuil, antibiotics, Flonase, Tylenol PM...whatever I wanted.

Shaundar...she gets to take 2 Tylenol every 8 hours.

Sucks. I think I'll go have a beer in her honor.

Baby Picture of the Day

I can't wait....but, I can.

It's an interesting thing, this whole "expecting" routine. One day, I'm like, "I can't wait until the baby is born! I want to see the baby, now!" And, the next day, it's like, "OMG! I can't believe we only have 6 more months! WE NEED MORE TIME!"

I mean, one day...I'm excited! I'm talking to Starbuck. I'm filling out his/her application to Gonzaga, etc. I'm planning baby's first baseball game.

The next day, I'm like, "Crap! We have to paint the nursery! We have to clean the carpets! We have to get the dog ready! We have to pick a [real] name! I'm not going to be able to play video games, anymore! I'M NOT GOING TO GET TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES, ANYMORE!" Stay the heck in there.

And, I swear...if I hear, "hope you enjoyed your sleep," or something to that effect one more time, I'm gonna...ummm...take a really long nap.

When I'm a dad, I promise not to...

Leave my kid at the airport after I board the plane.

I would like to point out that this child should be referred to as "1 year, 11 months." "Almost 2" is also acceptable.


http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/travel/2004413104_webairportlost14.html

Forgotten toddler found wandering Vancouver airport after family boards flight
By The Associated Press

VANCOUVER, British Columbia — A family left a 23-month-old boy in the Vancouver airport and learned he was missing only when contacted during the next leg of the trip.
Jun Parreno, the boy's father, told The Vancouver Sun the mix-up occurred Monday as he, his wife and two grandparents of the child, J.M., were scrambling between their arrival in Canada and a connecting flight to Winnipeg on Air Canada.

Running late after having to unpack and repack all their luggage, "we had 10 minutes before boarding," said Parreno, who was emigrating with his family from the Philippines. "We were running for the gate."

He said he thought his son was with the three other adults, who were running to the gate ahead of him, and they thought the little boy was with him.

Instead, in a scenario similar to the movie "Home Alone," the toddler was wandering alone between a security checkpoint and the flight gates, said Angela Mah, an Air Canada representative.

"We were called by (security) who told us one of the security people had a toddler in tow," Mah said. "He doesn't speak English, so we found a Tagalog-speaking agent who has been looking after him."

There was no boarding pass for the youngster because he did not have a separately assigned seat, so there was no indication in the airline's computer system that someone had missed a flight, nor had there been any panicked calls from anyone on a flight missing a child, Mah said.
That's because the family was scattered in different parts of the plane to Winnipeg and still didn't know the child had been left.

Air Canada staff began checking flights that had left, and "we eventually determined who his parents might be ... and the flight crew talked to them," Mah said. "They didn't realize until then that the baby had been left behind.

"We're not aware of this ever happening on an Air Canada flight before."

The parents were put into telephone contact with the little boy, and Parreno was put on another Air Canada plane to return to Vancouver to get him after the family's flight arrived in Winnipeg with the airline covering the cost of the two additional flights, she said.

Parreno had tears in his eyes when he returned to Winnipeg holding his son.

"I am relieved everything is OK ... but I was shocked," he said. "The staff at Air Canada took good care of him."

Copyright © 2008 The Seattle Times Company

More baby names

Today, taken from some of our very wise, very creative, and very hippie celebrities.

Rafferty Law - Jude Law & Sadie Frost

Cannon Edward King - Larry King & Shawn Southwick

Cashel Blake Day-Lewis - Daniel Day-Lews & Rebecca Miller
Ronan Cal Day-Lewis - Daniel Day-Lews & Rebecca Miller

Fuchsia Catherine Sumner - Sting & Frances Tomelty

Diva Muffin Zappa - Frank & Gail Zappa

Seven Sirius Benjamin - Andre Benjamin & Eryka Badu

Sailor Lee Brinkley Cook - Christy Brinkley & Peter Cook

Seriously...some of these people are nuts.

Here are the pictures I promised a week ago

Sorry for the delay, here. The "office" in the house is not little more than a closet with a desk. The old office is being cleared out to make room for future family members. Anyway, took me a little while to get the gear (read: scanner) set up again.

So, here are the new pictures, I promised. Like I said before, though...nothing really revealing about them. Kid looks the same. Big head and beer belly.

Baby size...

This week, Starbuck is the size of a...

Da da da daaaaa




A lime.

So...when you put the lime in the coconut and mix them both together...I forget what happens. Where can I find a coconut, though. I'll try it out.

For real?

I'm sick, again. WTF? I just got over this crud, and now, I'm sick, again.

Guest room, here I come.

When I'm a dad, I promise not to...

Refer to my child's age in months once they become 1 year old.

Have you ever asked someone, "How old is your baby?" and gotten a response like, "18 months!"

It is my firm belief that once Jr. hits one year of age, age should be addressed in Years then months. So...18 months should be "A year and a half!"

Why do I think this way? Well...I work in HR. Probably the main reason why I am a recruiter and not an engineer is because I am terrible at math. And...there's no way I would have been able to complete my engineering assignments as they involved a lot of homework and I was too busy getting drunk in college.

So...when I hear 18 months, I get confused. I quickly look around to see if there is a calculator nearby. I start to sweat and panic begins to set in. Finally...the parent takes pity on my and translates their answer.

I think this is really only done until the kid hits 2. I have yet to year someone answer, "30 months," or in my case, "366 months." Although...I have heard 24 months once before. No kidding. That one was a little easier for me to do the math on, though. (12 months in a year...carry the one...add a zero...square root...take away a zero) "Oh...2 years?"

In conclusion...I pledge to make it easy on mathematically challenged people. Once Starbuck hits a year old, any age reference starts with "1 Year."

Ultrasound - Round 2

So...first of all, I think we are a little irritated at our doc, again. We didn't want to do the genetic testing...but, I think we just did it.

But, that's another blog, and I'm not positive that's the case, yet. Although, ultrasound with blood test is supposed to be the way it's done without doing the amneo whosawhatsis.

I'm not a doctor nor am I am ultrasound technician. But, I have concluded that I think the first thing any ultrasound person should do is check the heartbeat. Show the parents that baby is still alive and kicking. It seems like they check the entire abdominal region before they look at baby. I understand why they need to do this, and it's cool that they do it first...but, just give us a little zoom in on little Starbuck so we know he/she's still doing his/her thing.

Anyway...today's ultrasound was pretty much the same. We got a few more pictures, but they really don't look that different.

Neat things about this one was they they took a little more time exploring Starbuck...who was much more active today, too, by the way. We got to see both little arms and both little legs (froggy style). Saw the heart again. I was telling Shaundar that I thought I saw a third, much smaller leg in between the frog legs. But, it could have just been dirt on the screen. (FYI, I am completely indifferent as to a boy or girl, but Shaundar wants a girl...I just want a kid healthy enough to play professional baseball and help cover my retirement).

I can already tell that Starbuck is going to look a lot like his/her dad. How can I tell this? Easy...he/she already has a big head and a beer belly.

I'll upload the pictures later when I am at my scanner.

Crap...I'm gonna be THAT dad

I am not really a worrier. When things are worrisome, I approach them with an "it is what it is" attitude. If it's good, great. If it's bad, we'll deal with it.

Well...I would like to point out change #1 in Jason's journey to becoming a father. I am now, officially, a worry wort.

You may have read about all my worries from before. Worries that turned out to be for nothing. Well...over the past week, I have had a new one.

So, last week, a few days after the ultrasound, we got a call for the scheduler at the doctors office. The scheduler says, "Dr. Okorn would like to get you back in for another ultrasound and some lab work."

Immediately, the thoughts were, "OMG, we just had an ultrasound. Why do they want another one so soon? The baby must have Downs Syndrome."

Seriously.

So, I started asking all my recently or currently pregnant friends what they think of this. Is this normal? Could something be wrong? What could they have seen? I would like to credit Rachelle with the line that calmed me down.

"They were throwing you a bone at the first one since you were worried. This one is official."

That makes sense. They didn't really take any measurements other than head to butt. They basically just checked the heart beat, made about 2 measurements, and gave us a couple pics. There's really no reason to be freaking out. Our doctor probably thinks we're psycho.

I've concluded that I will be one of those dads. The one who will be up until 3 in the morning and have the "do you know how worried your mother and I have been about you" speech ready to go.

Oh...and, my favorite line right now when Shaundar says, "Ooooh...baby's not happy right now." Or, "Baby's hungry" or something like that: "Baby...if you don't settle down, I'm going to send you to your womb!"

This is always met with the standard rolling of my wife's eyes.